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User blog:Tenzin Gyatso/The Sromp Quest - Day 2, Part 2
5/1/2012, 7:40 PM "Wake up, moron." Jimbo said to me. "You may be sromp's last hope. We must begin training presently." I followed him further down the swamp. As we stopped, Jimmy spotted a wild scramp farm aminal towards the trees. Without a pause, Jimmy used his sromp magics and killed it in a second. Amazed, I asked how he did that. He answered "Sromp magics. This particular spell was Eyayo, which kills all scramp farm aminal in the premises. Sromp magics come in three categories: srompspells, srompshouts and sromp cards. Srompspells are cast with your mind and hands. Srompshouts are made with your mind and voice. Sromp cards are objects you can use indefinitely. Only those with an unusually high sromp level and proper training can use sromp magics, however, which is why you are here." Then, he starting saying something amazing. "You are here to fulfill the Sromprophecy, created generations ago. The Sromprophecy predicted these events. It says that first, the scramp leader will fake their death to fool the world and control the empire more closely. Then, two more scramp beings will arise and challenge srompkind, and they will begin rering the few remaining sromp beings, one by one. But soon, a fat, Canadian sromp hero will be sent by a lazy American to stop the scramp from taking over. You seem to be both fat and Canadian, so you may just be this prophecy's hero!" I was utterly shocked. "r u srs", I responded. "Yes of course!", Jimmy assured me. "Now, moving on. I'm sure you and your American friend have already encountered some scramp spirits before." I explained that yes, we have, and that we've both been possessed before. "Oh my, it's worse than I thought," Jimbo said. "Well, do you know how to ward them off?" "You can ward them off?" I asked. "Idiot." he stated. "You see, the scramp spirits are everywhere, but they are always headed towards any source of sromp. You two have some of the highest levels of sromp known in this world, so you will see many of them. The way to ward them off is gherkins." "Gherkins?" I asked. "Gherkins." Jimmy replied. "You put a gherkin around your neck and it will make spirits go away. Some can still pass through, though, so you can put many gherkins around your neck, up to 47, for extra protection. You can also eat gherkins and you will be protected while the gherkin's sromp is in your digestive system. Beware, though, for some scramp spirits can use pickles to negate gherkins' effect." "How can you tell between a gherkin and a pickle?", I asked, puzzled. Jimbo immediately answered. "Simple. Pickles, cucumbers and gherkins are all really the same vegetable, but they contain different energy. Gherkins contain sromp energy, pickles contain scramp energy and cucumbers contain fromp energy. Most people cannot tell the difference, but you will be able to feel the energy each gives off, so you can tell which is which." I was completely fascinated. Finally, before we began training, I had one more thing to ask, concerning A Wikia Contributor's brainwashing. "Gosh. They've got one already." Jimbo said with a look of dismay. "Well, to undo the damage, you need much assistance. The best person to help with this would be Billy Mays, but he is no longer with us. I have heard that the sacred scroll may contain instructions for reviving sromp deities, so you should find the scroll before thinking about any plans. Having said that, however..." His face suddenly looked very concerned. "You only have a bit of time to save him. If you wait too long, the scramp will have consumed all the sromp in his body. If you try to save him after that...there will be nothing left." I almost fainted. Then I seizured. "Enough chat. We must begin training." Jimmy walked further down the swamp. He showed me many srompspells and srompshouts, handed me many sromp cards, and demonstrated every power. I just watched, completely amused. Here's a list of the sromp magics I saw today. Eyayo - A srompspell, shown earlier, that serves to kill all the scramp farm aminal that are in the premises. Cast by thinking the spell name and moving your hands in an erratic fashion. Stiraleks - A srompspell that shoots a bolt of sromp at an incredible speed. Has a range of 479 meters. Cast by thinking the spell name and making a gun with your hands. Xafir - A srompspell that uses sromp to spin around everything near you in a circle. Useful for hurling light enemies or dissolving scramp. Cast by thinking the spell name and pushing clockwise or counterclockwise with your hands. Unrerenting Force - A srompshout that deflects rer, tat, veew and wowo while converting it to choke, gag, spasm and seizure, respectively. The shouted words are "SWEOES NEH", which is Macedonian for "Negation and Choking". Scrampliminator - A srompshout that erases all scramp nearby by turning it into HEH. Does not work on living things. The shouted word is "WEER", which is Macedonian for "None". Spasm Stun - A srompshout that stuns scramp beings by subjecting them to many spasms and seizures when hit. The shouted word is "WAGADO", which is Macedonian for "Storm". Choke Stars - A sromp card that, when activated, triggers sromplosions ecerywhere. Form of Gag - A sromp card that, when activated, creates a mist of sromp around your vicinity. Useful for weakening large troupes of scramp beings, who may choke on the mist. EEEEEEEEEEH - A sromp card that, when activated, creates an invisible shield around you, temporarily protecting you from scramp. Tomorrow, I shall practice all of these, and once I have practiced enough, my training will be complete, and I will be ready to travel to Macedonia. Category:Blog posts